Sacrebleu! J'aime le Français!

Let's face it,
                    Everything sounds better in French.

Therefore I have started learning this wonderfully fluid language and am trying to stick to it, unlike the times I tried learning Japanese... And German... And Turkish. So this time I'm taking it seriously. I got a dictionary, a learning program and I've joined a pen pal website in the hopes that I can get someone to teach me a little.
  Today however, I've read through a few old notes of mine and I would like to share its contents with you:

My Ten Favourite French Curse Words

1. Merde!   [Maird]

Let's start off with an easy one, a word that we've all used at some point during this day or somewhere in our lives. A word that is quite possibly my favourite curse word ever: Shit. A lot of times people in France will actually stretch out the word, saying “MAIR-duuuhhhh” instead of the shorter and more accurate Maird. Either way though, shit is shit and it sounds better in French.

    2.   Salope!   [Sal-OPE]

If you want your French teacher to slap you, go ahead, call her this. This word translates as Bitch, used exactly the same as in English. There's a masculine version to this as well: Salop, pronounced sal-OH. You can also through in a 'son of a' here and turn it into Fils de salope, which I'm sure you can figure out on your own.

    3.   Casse-toi!   [kass-twah]

This is a rude way to tell someone to leave you alone or go away, as in telling someone to "Fuck off".

    4.   Foutre   [FOO-truh]

What other ugly word starts with an "f"? That's right! Fuck! As probably everyone knows, this word is incredibly versatile, so here are a few ways to use it:

• Je m’en fou   [I don’t give a fuck]
• Fou-le-camp   [Get the fuck out]
• C’est foutu   [It’s fucked up]

    
    5.   Ta Gueule!   [ta-GOOL]

I've used this on one of my friends a few times and he always gives me this insanely satisfying WTF expression. This phrase is probably the rudest possible way to tell someone to be quiet, being Shut the fuck up. It's only kind of like saying this, because it doesn't have a direct translation in English.

    6.   C’est des conneries!   [Say-day-KOHN-ree]

The best translation of this is "This is bullshit". I've have muttered this to myself many times while sitting in Math class, but it didn't make much of a difference, because luckily the only foreign language my teacher speaks is German.

    7.   Con or conasse or connard    [cohn] or [con-ASS] or [con-ARD]

This is the French word for ass, but it can also be translated into something much lamer such as idiot.

    8.   Chiant or ça me fait chier   [CHI-ant] or [sa meh fey CHIay]

This translates into a more vulgar version of "That pisses me off". So you can use it when you want to express a negative opinion to a friend, but don't want anyone else to hear. Unless of course they speak French too.

    9.   Putain! or Pute!   [Poo-TAHN] or [poote]

The literal translation of this means Whore, but in some cases it is even used as the English version of fuck. Remember in #4 how I mentioned that "fuck" is very versatile? In English the word can be used for pretty much everything and in French it's almost the same. You can use putain  as an emotional word or you can direct it as a specific person.

    10.   Sacrebleu!   [sacre-BLEU]

I really don't have to explain this one, because you've probably said it before to sound funny, but you never actually knew what it meant. Well, this word, my friends, is an old French profanity to be used when you are surprised or angry. As simple as that!

Well, there you have it. Use these words wisely. Remember: With great power comes great responsibility and these words can be very powerful.